Brightness
- Emily
- May 13, 2017
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 12
When you come into the light from the darkness it takes your eyes a while to adjust.
Be it the bright sunlight when you step outside of a building, or a cave devoid of any light which becomes lit by a single candle.
If ever there were an analogy for foster care, this is it on so many levels.
These kids come from places of darkness. And the hope is that they can come out of that and into homes that are bright and full of light. Specifically, God's light.
"The Light shines in the
darkness, and the darkness
has not overcome it."
John 1:5
The thing is though, living in the dark for so long, and suffering those abuses can leave your eyesight stunned, so to speak. Being somewhere that is totally void of any light can reportedly cause people to lose their minds, or even go blind if they are in the dark long enough. I am sure any of you reading this have probably suffered symptoms at some point from straining your eyes to see something in too little light. Imagine then, the toll that living a life devoid of the love all humans are deserving of would take on a person. It isn't pretty.
If you realize nothing else about kids in foster care, please realize this: they come from some dark places. The things they have seen and experienced has usually blinded them to the light, at least temporarily. Their eyes have to adjust. You don't have to know all that they've gone through. But you do need to know that it's not something they can just get over. Living in the light may be something that is normal for you and me. But for these kids and their families, darkness is their normalcy. Stepping into the light can hurt their eyes. Healing takes time. Think of the most traumatic thing in your life and how it affected you. Can you imagine the things these kids have gone through?
The point is this -- living in a darkness like that affects these kids on lots of levels. Sometimes seriously. Sometimes for a super long time, or even for a lifetime. And anyone who thinks otherwise has never experienced abuse or never sought to step close enough to the lives of these children to see their suffering.
Thankfully God is greater than whatever terrible things have happened to these kids. He can heal them. His light can shine bright into their lives. However, He calls on us to help Him do that. But we often overlook His heart for the orphan and His clear call throughout Scripture to serve them. Why? Because it's easier not to see that need.
"You, Lord, are my lamp;
the Lord turns my
darkness into light."
2 Samuel 22:29
It's so much easier not to know that there are kids out there dying at the hands of their parents. It's nice to not have to acknowledge that there are some truly cringe worthy abuses going on in our own country, in our own communities, to God's children. It's easier to pretend those things aren't happening here, in our perfect little havens and home towns. It's easier not to have to bear those burdens by simply not admitting that they're all around us. It's just all around easier not to. How do I know that? Because I'm in it, but I didn't used to be. Becoming a foster parent is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, and probably ever will do. But more than that, it has been the most eye opening.
The reason being that I think few things compare with the immense difficulty that is foster care is this: it is taking immense brokenness and darkness and bringing it into your home and trying to love the hell out of it (literally). Foster care is taking a child into your home and trying to show them a love that they've likely never known. It's trying to purge all their pre-conceived notions about what it means to be a person, and show them that they are truly precious and priceless, not just in your sight, but in His. It's fighting for someone who has never been fought for before, doing your damnedest to try everything in your power to provide them everything they need and then some for the section of their life that they will be spending with you (and beyond), even if you have no clue how long that will last. It is making yourself and your family vulnerable to whatever bad things from that little person's past that may try to present themselves. It is knowing that most of that child's circumstances are very far beyond your control and trusting that God will take care of it all. It is shining a light into their darkness. It is helping their eyes to see.
The thing about that light analogy is that it goes both ways. I think it applies just as much to those with misconceptions about foster care as it does to kids in the System. Sometimes we don't know, and we don't step forward to serve, because we really are in the dark about the immenseness of this foster care issue. Sometimes someone has to come along and shine a little light on the subject and hope that everyone's eyes will adjust and that they will start to see things for how they really are. Sometimes we don't realize that an issue so close to God's heart is as big or as bad or as close as it actually is.
I personally have felt an immense amount of frustration as a foster parent. Just past our first year in, and at times we have felt flat out perturbed at the misconceptions people bring to us about kids in the System. I pray that God will use us to break down those misconceptions so that the Church will be better able to rise to the occasion to serve kids and families in foster care.
And it's happening, or at least here, it is starting to. The State has realized that this problem is immense. It is actually turning to the Church and asking for help. Why? Because they know that orphan care is a fundamental part of of the Bible. And, whether they like it or not, they are acknowledging that they need the people of God to step up to this insurmountable problem, and step in to the lives of these children that are in the System. It started with a program which connects churches with needs in their community, and then grew to some families opening their homes to children in police protective custody, and now the State of Kansas is actively trying to recruit foster families from churches. Sometimes it seems like such a snail's pace, but it is moving forward and gaining momentum.
The sad thing is that the State even had to ask. As the Church, we have got to start asking God to break our hearts for what breaks His. Because He is all about love. He is all about family. And He is all about forgiveness. And all of those things are a pretty big part of foster care. We cannot care about those things and not care about this. And we cannot truly care about these children and not care about their families.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any interest in getting involved in foster care, or even if you just need more information. I would be happy to try and steer you in the right direction!
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