Seek First His Face

So, unsurprisingly, I have been a bit behind on my writing and so there have been some things bubbling around in my brain, just waiting to come out. This one has been long overdue. And by long overdue, I mean several months marinating in the making, as my child has been in this "face" phase for quite some time.

My dear daughter, Kaycee, has found a fascination with faces. And not just in an observatory way. Exploratory, rather. And by exploratory, I mean she has to feel it, touch it, taste it, bite it, scratch it, swat it, and further experiment on it in typical baby fashion.

As much as I love the curiosity behind it, the determination that drives her exploratory endeavors into all visible areas of Mommy's face (and beyond) can be a bit, shall I say, intrusive, at times.

You see, she is (still) in this stage of separation anxiety, which means if she at any moment feels she is too far from me, she will (somewhat frantically, and sometimes dramatically) seek out my face. If she can't find it, she may freak out. She will squawk, scream, squeal, or make her trademark strange tongue rolling sound, to signal that she "needs" Mommy. And by "need" it's more than just seeing me to be reassured of my presence. No, she has to have me, simply can't be content until she is in my arms again. And once she is in my arms, she has to examine me. Her exams consist of a visual inspection, but often lead to a physical one of my face as well. That can mean anything from gently caressing my face to open mouth mauling me to laying all of her weight against my face while she sucks her thumb. We're talking all out (attempts) at nose picking, eyelash pulling, eye poking, etc. It's as if she has to run her little tests to be absolutely certain I am Mommy and not some silly imposter.

What I find fascinating about her fascination not just with me, but with my face, is the way she studies it and seeks it out above all in the ones she loves most and is dependent upon. In this case, it happens to be Mommy. But on a much grander scale, how is this reflective of us as humans seeking after God? Or rather, how we ought to be seeking after Him?

Parenthood has certainly been teaching me things about being a child of God that I guess I never noticed before. Some things are a lot easier seen from the other side of the parent/child relationship. Insights I'm not sure I ever would have seen if not through the eyes of a person who has had a child totally dependent upon them to meet their every need.

"Seek the Lord and His strength,

seek His face continually."

1 Chronicles 16:11

Don't get me wrong...I seek God. But to say that I seek His face continually might be a bit of a stretch. That's not to say that I shouldn't be. It is to say though that out of the two of us in this Jesus and me relationship, the one not continually seeking would be me. Guilty as charged.

But the great thing about this incredibly awesome God we serve is this -- despite my failure to do as good of a job seeking after Him as He has done seeking after me, He still loves me. He still seeks me out. Like a parent with a child that's lost or confused or crying, He still looks to bring comfort. And He will keep doing so, for as long as it takes.

"If My people, which are called by My Name,

shall humble themselves, and pray,

and seek My Face, and turn from their

wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven,

and will forgive their sin, and will

heal their land."

2 Chronicles 7:14

God has the heart of a parent. The heart of someone who strives to see what's best for His children. And what's best for them...is Him.

That is a very humbling thing. To realize we are called by our Father, to humble ourselves before Him, and seek after Him, and turn away from our wicked ways. To admit we need His forgiveness, His healing. As His children, seeking His face for all our needs, knowing He will see to it they are met.

It can be more than humbling though. It can be hard. Yeah, we've all heard about how we need to follow God, but seek His face? That's taking it to a whole new level. Believe me, a baby who can't bear to be away from Mommy, really paints a different picture of what it means to seek out someone. It means having a need for that parent or person or in this case, God, that is absolutely unquenchable until you are face to face with Him again.

Close enough to look Him in the eye. Close enough to caress His chin. Close enough to examine each eyelash. Close enough to kiss His cheek. Close enough that you can't come any closer.

I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty incredible to me. To think that being that close to God, who is incredibly more majestic and more mighty and more amazing than anything we can imagine, is even a possibility is pretty mind-boggling. To think that we serve a god that would want nothing more than to have His children seek Him out of a crowd and cuddle up against Him is beyond extraordinary. I can't even begin to put it into words adequate enough to describe how beyond amazing it is. That I, as a daughter of the Most High God am able to even approach Him at all is incredible enough. But to take it beyond that...to be able to seek to be with Him in the same way Kaycee seeks to be with me. Wow.

That it's even an option to do so seems crazy, considering it used to be that such a thing would kill us dead. In Exodus 33:20, Moses requested to see God's glory and here's what God had to say about that: "But,” He said, “you cannot see My face, for man shall not see Me and live.” God went on to hide Moses in a cleft in the rocks, and shield him with His hand, and only showed Moses His backside. Because God knew that His glory was that phenomenally amazing that we humans couldn't possibly handle it.

But Christ made a way for us, so that we can seek His face and not drop dead doing so. He's done His part...now it's time for us to do ours. God's backside is still pretty amazazing, but I'm pretty sure compared to His frontside, it's nothing. If God wants us to continually seek His face, we need to stop settling for searching for His backside...sometimes.

I, for one, intend to step up in this area. And I hope you do too. Thanks for reading. :-)

#daughterhood #phase #god #parenthood #dependency #need #scream #cry #baby #face #seek